Dolly Levi: Yonkers, New York, to handle a highly personal matter for Mr. Horace Vandergelder, the well-known, unmarried, half-a-millionaire. She is a widow in her middle years, an opportunist and a meddling matchmaker. He did it from memory, but it was a perfect likeness of her. Oh Mrs. Molloy, what shall we do? HELLO DOLLY MONOLOGUE Leesburg Blues Brothers Tribute 100 subscribers Subscribe 2.5K views 10 years ago Cliff here reciting the Cornelius Hackle courtroom monologue from the staged musical. So I stood there in the shop, and there were loads of congratulations cards new babies, pink and blue, storks with bundles, balloons, all spewing out. What monologue should I use for my Hello Dolly audition? I need - Quora How to pick a comedy monologue: Michael: She had five cats. It means, Kayleigh, no more fun. Ambrose Kemper: This doesn't concern her! Like, you know what Bleek? He spotted me, took a deep breath, launched into another two-hour rant about what a rough deal it is whinging, complaining, whining. Because I know now how weak I am and that Im not really deserving of you, of all you have to offer me. Jeffrey: Back to square one. . As by my faith, I see no more in you So what if Im young and beautiful? remains in the common repertoire, though It Only Takes a Moment is making a slight comeback due to its use in 'Wall-e'. Maybe you feel for me the way you feel for a good friend, or if the world f hates me a brother. Quora - A place to share knowledge and better understand the world Maybe one night Im at a party, a bar, whatever, and I met a girl, and right off we know its a mutual attraction situation, and we have a little chat and a drink maybe, and next thing you know were in a cab, and theres a physical thing thats happening, and were chewing each others faces and trying to decide where to go, you know, your place or mine, only hold the phone here, there is no decision to be made, because youve got a key to my place, and I dont know if youve dropped by or what, and I dont want to chance putting either you or me in that awkward situation, so its off to her place somewhere in the East Eighties where Ive got to climb over her two roommates and three cats to do it on a foam mattress on the floor real, real quiet like because Sally my roommate has a commercial callback at nine- thirty in the morning and this whole time Im having some resentment towards you because your having a key meant that it had to be the cats and the floor and Sally the roommate asleep or nothing. What does a girl have to do these days? Shes really crying hard now, and she goes back into the bedroom. I see no blood, no wound. Tickets are $28-65. Then I get home and I make him breakfast. plays nightly (excepts Sundays) at 7:30 PM through June 10, with additional matinees at 12:30 PM and 4 PM on Saturdays and at 4 PM on Mondays (starting May 8) and May 12 and 19, at Hale Centre Theatre (9900 South Monroe Street, Sandy). We probably shouldve realized this earlier, but Ive been so happy being near you that I just sorta overlooked it and went on. Were in bed. Oh shit, maybe not. Or how they view my choices and, yes, maybe that makes me not very deep, or petty, or some other word, hell, I dont know! Since Im being judged by a jury of my peers I will attempt to insert like and totally into my confession as much as possible. Listen to Jerry Herman's score, and dance around the living room when a sequined Streisand arrives in a club as Louis Armstrong strikes up the title tune for her benefit. Because I always swear. Hello Dolly Script | PDF | Entertainment (General) | Theatre It would be just like being asleep in a box. The reality is, angel, you are no longer the only girl in Nick Parkers life. He would hate me for telling you but hed lost control of his bowels. Thats where were at now, and now some pricks actually done something about it, and killed three thousand people, and the Americans are fucking mad as hell, because they know every single one of them is on that plane hurtling towards the Twin Towers and they dont like it and theyre not going to stand for it, and theyre going to get the pricks thatre threatening them. Oh Hello! Who else recorded it? Is there oh any other time you might have told me this! Determined to marry wealthy Walter Matthau, she lures him out of Yonkers and sets about wooing him. She says, Surely you must have noticed? But that was the thing. And he starts in on how hes just this total fuck up and maybe he should just throw himself off the roof. Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career his humour? It's been long enough, Ephraim! And then I worry about whether he can tell my hearts going crazy, and I have to act really cool. Required fields are marked *. My friend Boomers hooking me up a job at the Mercedes dealership on Jericho Turnpike. The change of climate from East Tennessee to the Delta weakened resistance I had a little temperature all the time not enough to be serious just enough to make me restless and giddy. Eric. Dolly Levi: Mr. Kemper, do you mind if we go inside? It wasnt my fault. Still, where would we be now if we had children? No, the world must be peopled. I had to do this as Minnie Fay in my school's production last year. Max: What Im sure of is this- we need to stop. I see jonquils ! Is everything alright? No dear. Its a fairly effective combination. But by the end of the day it was like the more, the merrier. Minnie Fay: A banana a day keeps the doctor away. And who Im totally hot for at the same time. A cold hard fact. 1. My mum was always saying bring Corey with you on the weekend and shed go all flushed and wear low-cut tops in the kitchen. She rocked it. Heather: Beatrix: People come that like, didnt R.S.V.P.! Hello Dolly- Monologue 1 Flashcards | Quizlet I mean, who the hell does this guy or that guy think he is to give me such compliments? (totally in control) Monday morning, youre history. It was as though a large piece of phlegm had lodged in my throat and my words couldnt pass it. We don't currently have any monologues from Hello, Dolly! The conference was sadly borne; they have the truth of this from Hero. Gonna be insane. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Were twins, arent we? Why, it must be requited. I love you madly. What? There are only a few things in life that are guaranteed to be glorious and memorable and sparkling with gowns and cummerbunds. My dad was always working late golfing on weekends, and I knew it was because of her. But thats not the worst bit, Stephen. Jealous. I asked her if he made her wash the bits he cant reach. Dolly Levi: Money, pardon the expression, is like manure. I definitely caved in to the peer pressure. So she tells me then that I might have what they call an undescended testes, meanin that one dropped, but the other didntshe said Id have to get it checked out, cos if there was one still up there it would have to be removed because, guess what it could become cancerous. Book by MICHAEL STEWART Music and Lyrics by JERRY HERMAN Based on the play THE MATCHMAKER by Thornton Wilder Original Production Directed and Choreographed by Gower Champion Produced for the Broadway Stage by David Merrick and Champion-Five, Inc. TAMS-WITMARK MUSIC LIBRARY, INC. Than she a woman: tis such fools as you It was a joke, Amanda and her jonquils ! Cornelius Hackl: We're gonna close the store. With music written by Jerry Herman, and Michael Stewart writing the book, 'Hello, Dolly!' was first performed on Broadway in 1964. I always just assumed I had two. See how I sashayed around the ballroom, Laura? There are some who would be grateful for that--the plot is but a flimsy excuse to string together song and dance numbers. I cant open sardines and answer the phone. So I put the dog outside but the smell didnt go away. Best Monologues for Auditions | Backstage I know where all the nukes are and I know the codes. Jerry Herman's energetic Hello, Dolly! And who can hold their own in an interesting discussion. She was a human rights observer sent to interview him. Youre in way over your head. Like, one of my favourites is that the bus breaks down one day in this remote place and there we are stranded together. 5 reasons to see 'Hello, Dolly!' at Dayton Playhouse I wanted to say something, to tell you hed be looking for his dinner but I couldnt get it out. He discovers that I was this really fascinating woman all along. This is the real deal, honey and nothing you do is going to come between as. On the other, I think shes the only person on Earth who can make me happy. They all stare, mesmerized, at the strutting JEFFREY. Course, that means the chances of you getting caught are greater, especially if youre standing in front of the fire, face full of ecstasy and with a gigantic hard on. He cant take his eyes off me. Theyve showered me with leaflets. Its like a teacher waved a magic wand and did the work for me. I think youre ready to hear a little story about a girl named Megan who didnt have a very good time in high school. Hello, Dolly! I need you to remember about the picture, and about how I stop by your office every Friday, and how Ive always hated all your boyfriends, and how the two girls Ive ever seriously dated have looked like less attractive versions of you. Does that make any sense? So here it is, Part 1: The Shudder-Inducing-and-Cliched-However-Totally-False-Account-of-How-I-Lost-My-Virginity-To-A-Guy-At-A-Community-College. Dolly Levi: As my late husband, Ephraim Levi, used to say, 'If you have to live from hand-to-mouth, you'd better be ambidextrous.'. lovely! I told her boyfriend. Through Dolly's subtle machinations, several unlikely couples come together to find happiness in 19th-century New York. Lon: And you with all the talk about love .only make them nervous and easier for us to. Annie, wake up, youre related to a bona fide genius. Grow up, get a job, become a drone, thats it. Im okay! Yes folks, its true. 355 lessons. Hello Dolly- Minnie Fay Flashcards | Quizlet Its stupid, but like Id started imaginin it, what Id be like, walkin around with a little fella holdin me hand, teachin him how to cross the road, or a little girl and holdin her up in the air the way they look down at you, theyre so amazed to be up high. 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Louis Armstrong's recording of the title song, Hello, Dolly! I hadnt seen him since we split up, not once. Backstage is the top resource for acting monologues content and jobs that will help you land your dream opportunity . They were running around the backyard burning and howling-theres no such thing as grace under pressure for a burning cat, let me tell you. Doesnt matter hes charismatic. The fact is, Ive been acting like a prick. So how can I be yours? And Im buggin. You hate the sound of children playing and you hate all of your living relatives and you hate people who wear sunglasses, even during the day, and you hate going to dinner which you know I love! I pulled myself up, I studied hard, I read every book in the library and now I work for the government and have the highest possible security clearance. For beasts that meet me run away for fear: Hello Dolly Libretto | PDF - Scribd Always the same, isnt it. So I suggest you do not tangle with me anymore. Im referring to myself when I say Megan, its me Megan. For she hath blessed and attractive eyes. Youd only get depressed. A man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. (Banging on the floor with his fists. Bores you?! I know its hopeless. And thats it. All lacy with dogwood, literally flooded with jonquils! Like they just need so much help and theyre in those ugly cages, you know what I mean? Okay So, I love you so much, like to the end of the world and back, butsometimes I love you like I feel sorry for a monkey. Its a war against terror and its a war against ignorance, and its a war against prejudice and pure dumb-arsed fuckwittedness, and weve got to win that war, otherwise were fucked. Horace: It takes a woman all powdered and pink to joyously clean out the drain in the sink! I mean, I couldnt have a lesbian there. Grovel almost. This also has meant all the people had to be younger. I thought we had a really good time together and I was actually in a fairly Up state of mind for once. I can lie here for hours thinking about him. But that other stuff I gotta tell you up front Im just not ready, Alison. LEVI (Continued) AND A GIRL OVER SIX FOOT THREE LOVES A MAN WHO COME UP TO HER EAR, SURELY, IT'S OBVIOUS SHE'LL NEVER BE SEDUCED TIL SOME KIND SOUL CONDESCENDS TO GIVE HER BEAU A LITTLE BOOST! But I also definitely said as little as possible and was totally respectful of you in the way I talked about you. : Synopsis, Characters & Monologues, Jefferson Airplane: History, Members & Songs, Jerry Herman: Biography, Songs & Musicals, Julie Andrews: Biography, Movies, Books & Awards, Leonard Bernstein: Biography, Compositions & Musicals, My Fair Lady: Summary, Characters & Setting, New Orleans Jazz: History, Music & Musicians, Rhythm & Blues: Definition, History, Artists & Songs, Rodgers & Hammerstein: Biography & Musicals, Stephen Sondheim: Biography, Songs & Musicals, The Rolling Stones: Biography, Members & Songs, The Sound of Music: Summary, History & Characters, The Temptations: Biography, Albums & Songs, West Side Story: Summary, Songs, Characters & Composer, What Is Folk Music? Ill teach you to be me and you teach me to be you. Is he serious? Its not you. By the time I reached Year Eight I had fifteen pairs of jeans. My friend Fitzy can get me floor seats. Like, What the fuck were you doing having a kid months after breaking up with me, like You said you were like me, you never wanted kids, like Damn straight I look good I havent been sucked dry by tit-leeches. All that being said, Hello, Dolly!, is one of the most famous songs in all of musical theater. Where Hello, Dolly! Hello, Dolly! - Quotes.net But none of those times were quite right. Ive got angina. And did he ask how I was? Happier? Thats a fact. Like, totally. You know the problem with pyromania? And God knows we tried. Dance ability: some. Loved her even. New York, NY, Escape To Margaritaville I loved you and believed you and pretended not to notice the Streisand thing. Lysander if you live, good sir, awake, Rosalind: Act 3, Scene 5 I feel like its a lifeline. Create an account to start this course today. I just cant deal with your negativity while Im trying to grow into a fully-formed human. Okay? Because if you do, your parents will always know the unhappiness you feel for not being able to disappoint them. And you know what Im gonna get her back. Are you mad? (She wears a girlish frock of yellowed voile with a blue silk sash. Comedy Monologues | StageMilk Adulthood is where dreams go to die. These monologues will work well for auditions, perhaps a showreel update or for just some self-taping fun. Hes not moving. We have put together a massive list of comedy monologues for men and women, from theatre, film and TV. Maybe Ill never walk down the aisle with a smug look of bridal triumph. And the phlegm just slid away. Unrequited passion, of course. was an important and frequently covered piece. Far more interesting than all those silly girls at school. Or I might go to church. It seems her affections have their full bent. Three people died. I confess Im, in no small part, to blame for all the gossip that has turned my varsity letter scarlet. Im a planet. Then, using the computer model, they generated every thought I could possibly have in the next, say ten years, which they then filtered through a probability matrix to determine everything I was going to do in that period. You were nothing before you met me! Look Some of the best minds in our country peeing all over the floor in this here facility. I dont know how this happened. Im totally psyched. I thought you could just change my life and show me the whole world. And the pretension! I highlighted my hair because you said I needed shimmer. And you dont expect that when you break up with someone do you? They used to try to blow me up. How was I to know he was about to die. petrol and put a match to them. Like its such an intense experience but then nobody knows what to fuckin say, even though nothing really bad actually happened. The men are eyeing us for the wrong reasons. Create your account. Answer (1 of 2): One of my favorites is from ""Hello Dolly!" The stage production, not the movie. I mean, you hate everything. Meg bought me this T-shirt at the Warner Brothers store, and its got a picture of Superman on it. What though you have no beauty, Its on the hallway carpet. I know we just met like 3 minutes ago but youre probably looking for someone to get serious with, someone with potential someone who will take you out to eat a few times, see a movie, fool around a little bit, next thing you know were getting a dog and youre moving in. You know what I mean? Too many actors play up the comedy, trying to make a monologue funnier than it is. Let the record show that I, Olive Penderghast, being of sound mind, ample-ish breast size and an occasional corny knock-knock joke do enter this video blog in the case against me. Every time I think Im over the hump, Ill have a dream or Ill see some girl who looks like her from the back. Cooking for all you nice people has really helped me get over the fact that I fought in the Vietnam War. I love you Kate. Throw yourself off the roof! Yeah, growling. Hello, Dolly! | Concord Theatricals Christ almighty, try working for you for a living! I think we should switch places. I am a weak person, and I dont know if I can overcome that. Have a great winter, Im gonna go hump the fridge. Quotes.net. One of the peculiar things about Hello, Dolly! Hallie: I mean one thinks of it like being alive in a box, one keeps forgetting to take into account the fact that one is dead which should make a difference shouldnt it? James: (Just pull the shades first.) He drove a black Suzuki Vitara had five earrings and the word Fuck tattooed inside his lip. Sister Winnie: . Nice shoes faggot you got mousse in your hair lets put mousse in his anus! Id be flipping through MAD magazine and just put the thing down and take it. I mean, it wasnt like a disease or like some people have, thyroid or that type of deal she just shovelled shit into her mouth all the time, had a few kids, and, bang, shes up there at 350, maybe more. Heres my theory on that. But who is here? STANDS4 LLC, 2023. It's not worth a thing unless it's spread around, encouraging young things to grow. Im gonna go for a 560, convertible, in gold, with leather interior, all the options. Well, all power to George W I dont want the fucking pricks to win, either. Men dont have strokes when theyre thirty eight years old. And I didnt wanna, like, marry you? Thanks to her efforts, my grandfather was finally released, and they moved to the U.S. Young women need the Prom. I will also end statements with a question mark? Local caf girl is hit by a bike and a car and another bike. Just so I can ride on the same bus with him. . Gathered. So even though youve technically lost, youve really won. It is, however, a peculiar type of script and does not have the single most important aspect of acting which is listening/reacting. Do it! But I dont say that. So many you should go change, and then we can be in love at another time. I dont know if Stephen said. I wanna introduce you guys to someone. If you really loved me you wouldnt need to ask. Im gonna give you the short version of an incredibly complicated and f up situation, so please be cool. library of free monologues. Of natures sale-work. My entire life! Then, everything about me was entered into a computer where they created a model of my mind. I had malaria fever all that spring. Hello Dolly: audition & callback sides Dolly Levi: An indefatigable, meddling matchmaker of strikingly dramatic appearance; opportunist, life-loving, strong stage presence. Literally. Are you really gay? There was fucking everybody: everyones hopes were up there in those two towers.Its a war, Talbot It is a war. Only Hello, Dolly! For more information, visit hct.org. Society just wants to put everyone in a box. She doesnt say a word about it. Full-Length Musical, Comedy / 5f, 4m Book by Michael Stewart Music and Lyrics by Jerry Herman Based on the play The Matchmaker by Thornton Wilder Original Production Directed and Choreographed by Gower Champion Produced for the Broadway Stage by David Merrick and Champion Five, Inc. But the problem is.despite every fact I can muster, theres something that still doesnt check out. At first, I couldnt think of any reasons. I have a man, I love my man and I do my best to be polite but the irritation and the cheesy lines are getting to be too much. Don't worry about the lack of a solid story or Gene Kelly's pedestrian direction. Chris has taught music and has a master's degree in music education. Corey was older than me, bigger than me and a whole lot cooler than me. Dont repeat that. Ive been trying to rationalize them away, pressure from the wedding, the intimacy of working together, but I cant. Hello, Dolly! Hello Dolly! Like I didnt know until that moment just how much I wanted to be a father. Youre jokin? I says. And do you know what I do? He was a political prisoner in Argentina. Its a wonderful age. I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me because I have railed so long against marriage. All right. (as if this is shocking) I was best friends with her in middle school. Left the shop. Brandon: It was the fault of the psychiatrist.
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